Coming Up: Issy Does a Guest Blog!

             Because Issy Said So

As you know, I have been running a basically constant plea ad for guest bloggers. I finally found one. My eight year old little girl. The child has her own blog, and now she wants to move on up to the Eastside. Or as it's known in our house, one of Daddy's blogs. And it's all good. I bring this to your attention because I am trying to shame you into doing something that you (and I) know you can do. When you write something as my guest blogger, I ain't  a Grammar Nazi looking for the smallest mistake. Hell, look at most of the shit I write. Shakespeare it ain't.

If you want to be upstaged by an eight year old, there's no shame in that. Not much shame anyway. Issy's post will be up later today, so when you get a chance, take a peek at it. And, if you want to contribute to the betterment of Mankind, throw something together and email it to me at TexNetMaine AT gmail DOT com. Write about anything you want to, I ain't picky, but bring teh funnay. Teh funnay sells. Like sex. However, if your sex life brings teh funnay, I recommend viagra or counseling. I'm not a doctor for God's sake, but I do charge $125 an hour for sex problem consultations. Bring photos and/or video.  :)

I'll put up Issy's post when she gets it written. You'll know her post when you see it, it'll be the one that actually makes sense. The others are mine.

The End of the Month Review

Herman, Official Accountant of TexNetMaine

The shortest month of the year has been the biggest month so far for the TexNetMaine Blogging Family. You have been so kind as to share our websites with friends and family, thus sending our total number of visitors through the roof! Judging from the statistics I have seen, our readership has grown by more than 25% and I see that trend continuing on for a long time. I thank you for your support. I could write Pulitzer-worthy content, but if nobody's there to read it, it's just a bunch of words in the ether with no eyes seeing them. Thank you for using your eyes to view what I write. The thousands of words that I type every day would be very lonely without them.  :)

In the coming week, I'll have a lot more Texas History as we count down the days to the fall of the Alamo, then move on to the battle at San Jacinto that gave Texas her independence. It's an honest to goodness,  great learning or re-learning tool for Texans who need a refreshment course in our history, like me, and for non-Texans who can appreciate the sacrifices great men have made in the name of Freedom and Liberty. In the name of Texas. God bless Texas!

We have also seen extraordinary growth in Dumbass News over the past several weeks. This makes sense to me because everybody wants to learn of some dumbass somewhere in the world who's stoopider and has more problems than he does. Soon, I hope to have some t-shirts made that say "I'm a Dumbass" or I'm With the Dumbass ---->" Maybe even some coffee mugs that say "This is MY Coffee, Dumbass". I am open for suggestions.

The Because Toby Said So blog has finally caught fire and moving "up the charts" as I was hoping it would. Thank you.

The bottom line once again is that I am humbled by each and every visit that you or someone else makes to one of the TexNetMaine Affiliate Blogs.

Gracias,
Toby, El Jefe

The Week That Was - The Alamo, An Egyptian Dumbass and Smoothies

It's been a busy month!

It's been quite a week around the ole TexNetMaine blogging family. We've been busy covering Texas History as it happened in 1836, excoriating dumbasses all over the world, including our first Egyptian dumbass, I remembered the best friend a man could ever have and the cherry on top of the whipped cream is that my 8 year old daughter started her very own blog! Besides all that, my plate has been full with family stuff, doctor stuff and just plain old stuff. I almost forgot something! Thanks to you, the TexNetMaine Family of Blogs has seen several posts go viral! For those who may not know what "going viral" means, here's definition for you, "The adjective or adverb viral and the noun virality may refer to any viral phenomenon, that is, an object or pattern that is able to induce some agents to replicate it, resulting in many copies being produced and spread around." Having read that, you can see why I am so excited about it.

Here's a quick recap of the week:

• Three States Plus One - On Tuesday I began a series of posts that have given us a bird's eye view of the Texas Revolution. Even though the conflict had been going on for a few months, the nitty gritty started with the Battle of the Alamo. This is perhaps the most famous thirteen days of warfare known to man. You can read days two and three here and here. The Day 2 link features Colonel William B. Travis' famous letter seeking reenforcements for the Battle of the Alamo. It's a very stirring letter, especially for us that call Texas "Home".
• Over at Dumbass News, we (by "we" I mean my friend Tim Freestone and me) celebrated our first Egyptian dumbass! A truly monumental event in blogging history. It further proves that at Dumbass News we do not discriminate. We'll ridicule dumbasses the world over regardless of race, creed, color, religious affiliation, sex (or lack thereof) or national origin. Except my Mother. She's off limits. Your Mother? Not so much.
• Meanwhile, at that blogging clusterfuck we call Because Toby Said So, we revealed the Super Sekrit Real Names of some dipshit celebrities. But the Biggest News of the Week was made by an 8 year old, my oldest little girl, Isabella. She created (with an assist by Dear Old Dad) her very own blog! That was large news when it happened as Issy had well over one hundred page views! That's a great start for any blog. But Issy's thoughts on her mama's smoothies, over 100 hits has got to be some kind of record for first posts on smoothies!

 

You're Invited to be a Guest Blogger!

This could be you!***

I want to issue another invitation for you (yes you!) to become a participating member of the TexNetMaine blogging family! I am currently looking for somebody who would like to be a Guest Blogger for one of our affiliated blogs. I know many of you personally, and it goes without saying that you are flat funny, so man up! Or woman up!  As the case may be.

If you are a History buff, then you might want to consider Three States Plus One as place to show off your writing skills. Write about Texas, Maine, Colorado or any other state in the country. I'd love to learn more about your state.

Maybe your style is a bit more of the comedic kind. If that's the case , then you'll fit right in at Dumbass News. There is no lack of material in the Dumbass Department, so you'll never be without ready-made content.The posts almost write themselves.

Over at Because Toby Said So things are little less formal, as far as a definitive set of content rules. It's more of an open forum where you can let it all hang out on just about any subject. Pick one and send in your stuff. Because Toby said so.

If you'd like to put pen to paper as it were, don't be shy and send me a sample of what you've got to offer. My email address is TexNetMaine AT gmail DOT com. I look forward to hearing from you!

***Cartoon by Brad Fitzpatrick

The Empire Continues to Grow!

Your World Wide Leader in Dumbassery

Wow! It's been quite a week at the TexNetMaine Affiliates. First of all, let me thank you for your continued readership and suppport, without which I would be floating aimlessly on the Sea of Forgotten Blogs. As it turns out, I have received several offers to spread my brilliant commentary and observations of the human condition around the internet through more outlets than I am currently capable of doing on my own. Some of these offers are legit, others I am not so sure about. I have been too busy to do much than taking care of business on the four blogs I oversee now and attempting to have some sort of family life. I am a one man operation, but dammit, I am a One Man Anthill getting shit done.

Once again, I am humbled by your continued support. Thank you.

Adios,
Toby, Blog Administrator and Resident Dumbass

Issy Launches Blog on Sunday!!!

Grand Opening Tomorrow!

A couple of days ago, I wrote this piece about a big announcement to take place soon on TexNetMaine. The big news is that my 8 year old daughter will be blogging on her very own site starting tomorrow (Sunday, 2/20/2011) !!! I am very excited to welcome her into the TexNetMaine family, even though I see her every day at home. :) I will, of course, monitor everything that has to do with the blog, Because Issy Said So. Let me assure you that I will be very diligent in monitoring the blog, so that my child and your children will not exposed to any material that is not suitable for kids. I am the only person that has the password and control of all tools, especially the security tools, that are used to make the blog appropriate for all kids.

Let's have fun together and enjoy the posts that Issy writes and some of the future feartures that will be added as time goes by. As always, please feel free to comment on the blog. ayour feedback can only help us improve things. See you tomorrow!

Because TobyI Issy said so.

A REALLY BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

I am adding yet another blog to the TexNetMaine Blogging Network! Read on for all the details!

Following in Daddy's Footsteps

I was talking to my eight year old daughter this morning as she was geting ready for school and I came up with a brilliant idea. A little info first: Isabella (my 8 year old) is a very smart little girl. She is a leader when it comes to her class at school. She works and studies diligently and is always bringing  home some sort of Classroom Award for the school work she does. Her mother and I are very proud of her. Issy also a very creative child. She's constantly drawing or writing a story, usually about her family.  :) It's her creativity that that I think will serve her well a she grows up and in fact one day it's that creative streak in her that could make her very successful in whatever she chooses to do in life.

THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: Issy is going to have her own blog! I am going ro put it together for her over the next day or two and then Issy is on her own to write about whatever she wants to. I think it will a great tool in developing her writing skills as well as honing the tremendous gift of her creative abilities. Also, I think it will be a great way for adults to see what an eight year old mind observes in the world around her, and maybe those parents who read Issy's blog will talk to their own children about the subject of  that particular day. It's a win-win situation for everybody. The subject matter of Issy's blog will vary from day to day, thus offering a variety of things for kids to read and maybe even learn from.

IMPORTANT STUFF FOR PARENT TO READ: I am going to supervise every key stroke that Issy is posting to her blog. I understand the potential dangers a child could face on the internet, so I'll be like a duck on a June Bug when it comes to making sure that Issy is safe from these potential dangers. Therefore, by extension, your child will be safe in reading the stories Issy posts. My child and yours are the number 1 concern when it comes to internet safety. Rest assured that what is posted on Issy's blog will be closely monitored personally by me. Issy won't even have the password to her blog, so there's one safety measure in place right there. I'll also set the blog to be family friendly with certain filters that will block any material unsuitable for children. The bottom line is that I am asking for your trust in me that your child will be 100% safe when reading Issy's blog.

I guess that's about it. Be looking for a big announcement when Issy's blog goes live! now it's off to Blog Design Land!

Adios,
Toby

There's a Break in the Action

My Next Course of Treatment

The Chairman of the Board, CEO and Head TexNetMaine Dude (that's me) is taking the day off. I am not being lazy, it's just that I went to the Doctor today and we are adjusting my meds, so it may be a day or two before i get back to "normal'. "Normal". bwahahahahaahaha

For real, I 'll have some new stuff for you tomorrow when the World is a little more stable for me. Thanks for your support and understanding.

Toby, Head Bottle Washer and Administrator for the TexNetMaine Blogging Empire. LLC, CYA. FBI, MSRP, KMA and Ya Mama.

Number 1 With a Bullet UPDATED: Scroll Down

Success!

It's been a wild week here at the TexNetMaine Headquarters, better known as my living room, and I have reached the point of physical and mental exhaustion. But it's a good kind of exhaustion. The kind of exhaustion you get when you've taken your kids out to do something special, like a carnival or fair. When you get done, you are dead ass tired, but in a good way. That's how I feel today. Tired, but gratified. As you'll recall, a couple of days ago, I told you of some new writing opportunties I have. I have been steady at that plus doing all the Daddy things that are a part of daily life.

I am still in the process of trying to get some loot for giveaways on all my blogs, but I am sad to report that no company wants to play nice. Still, I sally forth in a valiant effort to secure booty (not that kind of booty, I am a married man) for you, my dear friends and readers. That's just how I roll. Besides, what ever free shit I get for you guys, I get some too! is my way of saying "thank you" for your unwavering support.

I would once again like to remind you that if you'd like to write something for any of my blogs, I will be more than happy to review your submission and post it where applicable. Please just make sure you keep it to my usual low standards and feel free to use "colorful metaphors" liberally. I do have a reputation to live down.

I also wanted pass along some blog stats to you. Take a look at this:

• Three States Plus One  is now read in seventy-four countries, all 50 states and Washington, DC.
• Dumbass News is showing remarkable growth. It has followers from seventy-one countries around the globe, all 50 states and the nation's Capital.
• Because Toby Said So is gaining readership every week and is now read in nineteen countries, 42 states and Washington, DC.

As you can see, I have big dreams for the TexNetMaine Blogging Network and with your support, those dreams will be realized. Thank you all for making this a labor love.

UPDATE: I am a dumbass, which many of you already knew, but I forgot to give you my email address for your Guest Blogger submissions. It's TexNetMaine AT gmail DOT com.

My Blogging and Writing Empire Extends Its Reach to Other Venues!

Writer's Block

In my last post I made a point of telling letting you know how well all of my blogs are doing. And doing well they are. Several of my posts have gone viral, meaning that they have been shared and have become very popular on the web. Other than writing the posts, I had nothing to do with them going viral. The credit for that belongs with you, the reader. Let me say how grateful I am that you would stop by to read what I write, much less make the effort to send it out to your friends and family. Thank you.

Over the last few days I have been looking around the internet for other forums in which to "showcase" my writing. Yesterday, I signed up with a couple of them that pay me to write stuff for them. As a matter of fact, I wrote my first piece for one of them last night. If you are so inclined, go on over and give it a read and even rate it if you like. I am always the optimist, so I know that these new opportunities will, at the very least, be beneficial to me and my family. FYI, the things I'll write about on these new (to me) sites, will be quite a bit different than what you read on my blogs. The new stuff will be <GASP> a little more serious in nature. I think I can handle it though.  :)

I am still looking for some cooperative companies to trade out some giveaway merchandise for free ad space on one or more of my blogs. Wish me luck on that. I have a couple of ideas on how to make this work and I'll be checking on them later today.

Here's a list of all the sites, including my blogs, that am writing for and the Pen Name I use:

• Helium.com - Toby Shoemaker
• Seed.com - Toby Shoemaker
• Technorati.com - Toby Shoemaker
• HubPages.com - FishFearMe
• ConstantContent.com - Toby Dillon
• Three States Plus One
• Dumbass News
• Because Toby Said So

I haven't published to all the new sites yet, so you might want to give me a day or two to get up to snuff with them. Please keep in mind that I am doing all of this by myself, so I've got my plate full every day. This would be a good time to remind you that if you want to write a guest post for one of my blogs, just drop me a line at TexNetMaine AT gmail DOT com, and I'll get back to you as quickly as possible.

Thanks to all of you for making what I do worthy of doing. God bless and take care.


Toby, Blog Administrator
Three States Plus One
Dumbass News
Because Toby Said So

A Message From Me to You

Things continue to go well at all the TexNetMaine affiliated blogs, with all of them becoming more well-known with each passing day. I'd like to remind you that you can subscribe to the RSS Feed for each blog. It's FREE and just takes a few seconds to do.

You'll also notice a button linked to PayPal where you can make a donation to me for all the work I put in on making the TexNetMaine affiliates a daily must read for you. I cover that subject here. I know the economy is hitting everyone pretty hard, me included, but any amount you want to donate would be greatly appreciated. I bring up this subject for a couple of reasons:

• 1) Although blogging is not a "traditional" way to make a living, I keep writing my blogs in hopes of at least making enough money to help pay my monthly household bills and to help me in providing for my two little girls who are 8 years old and 4 years old.
• 2) My health is at a point to where I am not able to get a "traditional" job anymore. I'm not gonna keel over or anything, it's just that the worsening arthritis along with fibromyalgia, are plotting against me in doing "normal" work and daily life activities. You'll see why I have the "Donate" buttons on each page of all three of my blogs when you click this link. Things will then be a bit more clear concerning this matter.

I am not asking for any sympathy, I am, however, asking for your support if and only if you find what you read on my blogs entertaining, informative, thought provoking or even irritating as hell. Regardless, your patronage is a gift and I am humbled by it.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to visit one of the TexNetMaine Affiliates. Tell your friends and family about us. We'll treat them so many ways, they're bound to like one of them.  :)

God bless you and may God continue to bless the United States of America.

Toby, Blog Administrator
Three States Plus One
Dumbass  News
Because Toby Said So

A Blessed Event in Colorado!

TexNetMaine would like to send congratulations to Aubrey and Darcy Jollotta of Colorado, on the birth of their son, Aubrey II, at 7:20pm MST, 2/4/2011!!! Mother and baby are doing well.

Best Wishes,
Toby, Admin., TexNetMaine

Daily TexNetMaine Blog Roundup

Here at TexNetMaine's Headquarters in lovely Augusta, Maine, we are getting slammed with a major snow storm. By the time it's all said and done, we could end up with a couple of feet of snow. That's a typical Wednesday in New England and we here at TexNetMaine fear no storm! We fear our wives, but we ain't scared of a silly little blizzard! Take that, Mother Nature! Further proof of our due diligence is presented to you below in the form a TexNetMaine Affiliate Round Up!

• Over at Three States Plus One, you'll find a post on Groundhog Armadillo Day! February 2 done Texas Style with chili and Bee Cave Bob, the Spring Predicting Armadillo. And, no, the chili is not armadillo chili. Any Texan worth his salt knows that armadillos are not suitable to use in chili. Possums on the other hand....
• The Dumbasss of the Day comes from out of the woodwork by ordering illegal cockroaches on the internet! Dumbass News has the creepy crawly details for you.
• As many of you already know, a major winter storm is pound the Northeast with up to two feet of snow. This is the same storm that has blasted or will blast an area from Texas to Maine and points in between. Because Toby Said So has more info for you.

When you click over to one of the blogs listed above, be sure to look in the right sidebar for a link to become a follower of that particular blog. I will never share your name, email address or any other personal information about you with anyone, ever! End of story. You can also sign up for the feeds to the blogs and sync them with your current feed reader or Google Reader. Stay warm and safe.

Adios y'all,
Toby

What's Shakin' on TexNetMaine Today?

Here's what going on today on TexNetMaine:


Three States Plus One - Join me for a special occasion! It's my baby girl's 4th birthday!

Look out, World, here I come!

Dumbass News - A dumbass is home free after being on the lam for almost 30 years! He gets busted when he was caught pissing in public! It's easy to see why he's the Dumbass of the Day.

Another Famous Dumbass Criminal

Because Toby Said So - I live in New England and for the past three Wednesdays in a row, we have had heavy snowfall totaling about six feet. See what's in store for us tomorrow. Because Toby said so.

Sidewalk  Awaits More Snowfall

HubPages - If you can still stand to absorb more of my musings, head on over to HubPages and look around my place. I think you'll enjoy the ride.

That's what you'll find at all the TexNetMaine affiliates today. I may be back here later with weather updates if the need arises. Until next time!

Adios, y'all!